About Me

 

Hello, my name is Cate. I live in Christchurch, New Zealand and I guess you could call me a seasoned blogger.

For the past six years, I have been blogging at Infinite Sadness… or hope? I sought to write how I was living with chronic mental and physical illness, using the hope that a few special people held for me. Sometimes I wasn’t able to grasp any hope for myself, but their hope got me through. Of course, it hasn’t been an easy journey, but I’m still here. And that is a victory!

Before becoming a blogger, I spent several years writing and publishing an account of my mental illness, discussing depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Anorexia Nervosa. (Note that I was later diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Attachment Disorder).

That book, Infinite Sadness, was published in 2009 and now is available to read (free!) on Scrib.d.com. It’s not an easy read, but then it wasn’t an easy life I was living from 1993 to 2009. Life has changed since then, and I’m very happy about that.

On to other things you might like to know about me:

I love daisies. Whether they are on the lawn or growing on a bush. These daisies above were grown in a pot in my garden. There are lots of reasons I like daisies, and you will probably see many as I blog, but perhaps the most important reason, is that they are a symbol of hope for me. And hope is something we all need to find and hang tight.

My garden is small, and it’s definitely evolving as I have the time, money and health to be able to work on it.

Coffee is an essential part of my day. The worst way to start the day is when I have to do a fasting blood test and I can’t have my coffee. Of course, once the blood test is completed, my coffee is the next stop.

I have a black cat. His name is Hobbes. He is named after my favourite cartoon series, Calvin and Hobbes. This series means more than I can probably say via blogging, but you never know when I might summon up the courage to share.

Reading is important to me. I love biographies and good fiction. Unfortunately, I am having trouble with my eyes right now and reading is not possible. My close up vision has gone to double. I am desperately hoping it doesn’t extend to my full vision. Meanwhile, blogging is (mostly) possible as long as I keep my laptop as far from my eyes as possible, and take lots of breaks. There is a growing pile of books I am waiting to read when I can get a cure.

A very important person in my life right now is my 89-year-old mother. She has Alzheimer’s Disease and currently lives in a dementia care centre. I try to spend time with her every day. This is really important to me as even though she doesn’t remember that I have been there, for the time that I am with her, there is a smile on her face and she is at least a little bit happy. That smile makes it worth it. She doesn’t always know who I am but I think she knows I am someone of meaning to her. I am constantly amazed by the cruelty of dementia, and I expect to write about this as I face it.

On a less serious note, but I mean it with total seriousness: Paddington Bear is one of my favourite people.

I need to say that I am not a medical professional. I try to avoid giving advice, but please don’t take anything I say as medical advice. It’s not. I simply seek to share my experience with you. For advice, you should always seek it from a qualified medical professional.

I hope that you will follow my blog, if you haven’t already. I look forward to you sharing my journey.

I leave you with these wise words. They give me one of many reasons to blog:

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”

~ Harvey Fierstein